Parental Abduction (What is wrong with people?)

Parental abduction is one of the saddest and most unfortunate type of case to work. I have been involved on the periphery of a few and worked directly on a couple of others. They fill me with dread and often present an ethical dilemma.

I have a habit of leaving my computer on at night with the speakers turned up loud so I can hear anything urgent that may come in. It is not that unusual for me to get a last minute case where the neigh on impossible needs to be done by yesterday.

Around one o’clock in the morning an email came in from a foreign colleague working on a parental abduction case.

When they reach the highest level of legal action parental abduction cases are covered by something called The Hague Convention On The Civil Aspects Of International Child Abduction. It is a longwinded title but is basically a rule book signed by most of the world’s nations outlining the assistance that they will give each other in such cases that involve minors under the age of 16.

My colleague had indications that the abducting parent and child were located in a territory that we have good contacts in. He urgently required confirmation of this in order to present the evidence at another related court case involving the legally rightful parent (a financially secure business person). The case was further complicated by the impending 16th birthday of the child in question.

Well with a bit of effort we managed to locate the abductor (a similarly financially secure business person) and complete a brief report outlining his place of residence, business affiliations and contact details. This report was issued so that the appropriate authorities in the country concerned could be notified and the child picked up, flown “home” and repatriated with the legally rightful parent.

Job done and finished.

Yes but with reservations on my part. Here was a child of almost 16 years old, described as being “intelligent, independent and charming.” Basically this was a child that knew how to use a telephone was old enough to make up their own mind and gave every indication of having freely gone with the abducting parent without any duress being placed upon them. Furthermore the child had been abducted a little over a year ago. In that time the child made initiated no contact with the legally rightful parent. Nether parent was any way connected with or accused of violence or abuse of either their ex spouse or child.

Yup the abducting parent was found to have broken various laws but there was absolutely no indication that the child was forced to do anything against their will. The legally rightful parent was I am sure incredibly concerned and most likely heart broken.

I cannot help but be concerned for the child in question and whether repatriation is what they want. I get little satisfaction from having taken the legally correct course of action.

What grates me even more however is how two intelligent successful individuals can allow the situation to develop to a stage where no level of agreement can be reached regarding a child’s wellbeing.

How with any sense of common decency, morality or sense can a parent act in such a way? It is only my opinion but is influenced by experience that some parents forget that their first duty in life is to ensure the wellbeing of their child, enabling them to become caring, strong, independent, free thinking, decent, and moral adults.

Both parents in this case would I am sure state that they are tying to achieve exactly that. How though after 14 years could either of them allow such a situation to develop where their child is reduced to being little more that a rope in a tug or parental war? Each parent will blame the other forgetting that blame is not the issue. Their child’s welfare is.

I guess I will never understand.

Co-incidentally a similar but unrelated case appears on page two of today’s Star here in South Africa.