A day in the life of…

I wake up in my luxury pad on a beautiful island retreat, jump in to my Ferrari, meet up with a supermodel client, accept a tasking that requires the use of much fast driving, a tree top helicopter ride, often with the CIA in pursuit, get shot a few times and…

Actually that’s not what happens as a rule. Its far more mundane and to be sometimes a tad geekish. Wake up in my small house in a kinda nice area, put the coffee on, shower, check emails and start on a research job for a client wanting to buy a manufacturing facility in West Africa. He needs to know about competition in the area, together with political and reputational risk.

Spend some time speaking with our partner in the area. (Note to self: purchase a long piece of string and get two tin cans for the purpose of better sound quality in our calls to him)

Look at the case of the missing US professor. Personally I think he is dead. All the other bases have been covered and he was not the type to take care of himself. Call the US Embassy and tackle their number menus. Ask why can’t there be an option “for bi-polar, self medicated, itinerant professors who have walked away from their known world and decided to hobo it around South Africa press 4.” Speak to a vey nice lady that will look up past US deaths and repatriation in South Africa and keep me appraised of future one fitting the professor’s profile.

Call up a client wanting work done in the BVI and bother them to give me the job! Have a “yes I know its expensive but that’s what it costs and I have itemized it for you” type conversation.

More coffee. Walk to my PO box to pick up mail. No work, no letters from friends just invoices, some flyers and something called a parktown prawn. Imagine half cricket half roach and all nastyness. (the single most hideous bug on the face of the planet! Almost impossible to kill but this one is dead. Not something I will choose to investigate. I’ll just be grateful that there is one less of them.

Get back and have a case in my email regarding a lady in the UK who is getting married but has not yet got the final pieces of divorce paperwork from her ex husband who has seemingly vanished. Hmmm could be inconvenient, she is getting married in two weeks. How can you not know that your divorce was not finalised? Never mind I’ll get on to it later after checking its not a potential stalking or otherwise dubious matter.

Send emails to contacts. Call sources chasing up information for leads and hopefully conclusions.

Do invoicing (jeez I hate accounts and thank heaven each day that my bookkeeper / accounts wakes each morning saying “oh goody another excel spreadsheet and unbalanced set of books)

Coffee, change in to smart cloths and off to meet a chap who believes his partner is being unfaithful. I don’t do domestic matters but its for a friend so I give advice and details of a colleague that can help. (Quick tip dear reader, if after a period of one year you think your partner is being unfaithful then there is a 99% chance you are correct. Sad but true)

Back to the office, trace work, report writing coffee and more calls.

Sign off and relax for the day.

At home the laptop speakers are on full so that I hear the “bing bong” of incoming mail and messages. Some might be urgent and need a quick answer. Watch news from around the world and consider something supper shaped.

That’s it, it aint Magnum, more lifestyles of the poor and infamous but I love it.