The news from Namibia

So here I am in a hotel just outside Namibia’s sunny capital.

Taken a small stroll around and it aint too bad. People smile, no rushing around everyone is polite. I do not think however that this place should go in to your list of destinations under the heading “places to go for a massively exciting time.”

Sat in a hotel waiting for a potential client to show, at the bar naturally I have been watching the bar staff. Baldy seems to be the leader, we then have Skinny, Sweaty and Unhappy.

Baldy seems to be on the take if I am not much mistaken. A lot of looking around, reaching down and putting something in his pockets. (Beer I think). Out the door and two minutes later he is back with empty pockets and the process starts al over again.

There’s a guy I know from London that makes very good money working in clubs bars and hotels as a plant watching for scams, fiddles, wrong doing and general scumbagishness. Looks like he could have a good time here a Sweaty has just opened the cigarette machine taken a pack given some to Unhappy and sparked up out side by the pool!

Anyway back to Namibia. Lot of German visitors and speaker as it used to be a colony of theirs. With the exception of a few years in the late 30s early 40s they never really got the hang of the colonialism thing quite as well as the Brits but anyway this was one of theirs.

Was speaking to a lady at the reception area earlier who mistook my basic German for fluency. Don’t have a clue what she was talking about other than it involved a car crash. Anyway she seemed happier after the chat so I cannot have been that appalling in my linguistic skills.

We then have Afrikaans speakers. Now this is a fantastic language and if swearing cannot be surpassed. Sadly swearing is the only level of fluency I have achieved.

If you ever see a National Geographic or similar documentary of Namibia it will show the Herero. This is a tribe whose ladies wear an amazing headdress styled after cow horns. I saw two such ladies at the Airport and was more than a little pleased.

Lastly (in terms of my limited knowledge) we have the San or Bushmen. Now this is a language to learn! It is almost entirely made up of clicks that require you to be able to tie a knot in a cherry stalk with your tounge if you are to be able to even do the basics. A much put upon race of people, they are as near as it comes to the original indigenous people of Southern Africa.

Old stories from the oral traditions of Basuthu (Lesotho) people tell of San people never getting attacked by lions. The Basuthu were eaten in their droves it seems. The two peoples got on and this was discussed. The San are historically nomadic but over a defined area that they knew very well. The knew which lion prides were where and understood lion society.

They would hear or simply know from observations which lionesses were pregnant and keep an eye on them. When they give birth lions make a distinctive noise (mush the same way as humans do I guess). Once the cubs were born after a few days when their eyes were open the San would come along in a big crowd and scare the living excrement out of the poor balls of fluff. They then… ahh…err went to the toilet in that location. For the lions this associated the smell of humans with something best left well alone. Well that’s how the story goes.

Time now to head for the pool bar for sundowners. Work for today is done but there is plenty for tomorrow. Baldy looks set to have a hell of a party this weekend!