A Word on Relationships Recession and Plain Low Down Nastiness.

Now I am not writing this from the moral high ground or inferring that I have some kind of supreme qualities or knowledge in the area. Lord knows I have failures behind me and must claim responsibility for a couple of them.

I open the floor to any ex’s and previous partners that may wish to disagree but lying infidelity violence and contempt have not figured in my list of many faults.

People drift apart, needs and desires change, that’s cool, ya know what? Stuff happens.

Surely its not too much to expect two supposed grown ups of average intelligence to appreciate that the right thing to do is to discuss lay out their points, break in an amicable fashion and accept that over means over.

But what is it with the lying, cheating, infidelity violence and utter contempt that some people subject their supposedly loved ones to.

A current case here in South Africa is in today’s Times: (cut and paste the link)

http://www.thetimes.co.za/PrintEdition/News/Article.aspx?id=953911

Who’s in the right? who’s in the wrong? Who knows but although I have no direct involvement in the case it would be fair to surmise that neither one is wearing a halo.

Separations and divorce go hand in hand with a recession as is acknowledged in a recent Time Magazine article so it would seem more of the same is on the way: (cut and paste the link)

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1853311,00.html

People lie about the true state of their finances; try to seek comfort in difficult times from someone that makes them feel good about themselves and turn their backs on the most profound of words, declarations or promises.

I got a call this morning from a guy who wanted assistance in locating his ex wife who is apparently subjecting him to all manner of harassment and nastiness (paint stripper on the car, various writing in weed killer on his lawn, one broken window, emails to his boss and the list continues) He wants a restraining order but cannot serve it on her until she is found. Having said all that it might not be her.

This man that called me has custody of the children so at first glance it would seem that he is the “the victim” in all this. However this man picked this lady out of the world population and married for all the right reasons. He looked at here in the way a man should look at his prospective wife. He is a bright intelligent person.

What triggered this bizarre change in behavior from his professional, highly qualified and equally intelligent wife or some strange person that apears to have quite profound issues?

I don’t know the answer to that question. I do not know if he has fault in this or if someone has simply flipped and targeted him for reasons best known to themselves.

So where is all this going? I just don’t understand some people. That’s all I’m saying.

It’s a little idealistic and a plaintive wish but why can’t people just be honest, kind and decent, acknowledge their mistakes, do their best to make amends when the needs arise and be an accepting adult about it when things go wrong?